I'VE GOT THE DRUZ - why my son wants me well

I really haven't told you any thing about me, but maybe by doing so, you will have a better understanding of why Dustin (older son) wants to change my life, and why I am giving him full control. On June 29th, 2007, my youngest son, Drew, died of an accidental overdose of two of the medications that had been prescribed for me. He was only 20 years old! Not only is he in my every thought, each time I take, or apply medication, I think, this sh*t killed my son and it sure as hell isn't helping me. I received a copy of his autopsy in the mail today which put me in bed (you guys with FS know what I'm talking about, stress hurts - severe stress puts you down) . And give up on trying to explain this to a non-sufferer, I am so sick of hearing "work through your pain" - "persevere" - " it can't be that bad" and many other words of comfort. If I could lift my arm, I would slap them! Wish me luck with the cigarettes, so far I'm doing pretty well, BECAUSE I CAN !!! Until Tomorrow -- Debby