Stress isn't going to kill me-just piss me off!

I don't know whether or not I have told you, but, about a month after my youngest son passed, my other son, Dustin, rolled an eight-teen wheeler (flatbed holding two HUGE coils of sheet metal) and I had to drive seven hours to the hospital that was holding him, not knowing if he was dead or alive. He has been off work since then because of nerve damage in his neck and back. I'm telling you this now because we just found out that it is very possible that he is going back on the road. The wreck he was in was by no means his fault, it was the fault of the road repair people in the state where he wrecked. Mentally, I don't think he is ready. Neither does he! His doctor has released him, so it's out of our hands. Because of this stress, my pain is unbearable, and I can't shut my head up! (I've got the DRUZ really bad) As much as I miss Drew, and I know how he would love to have his brother with him, I can't bear the thought of loosing them both. I know in my heart that it is completely out of my hands and 99% of the things we worry about never happen, but that one% drives a mother crazy. I am drinking alot more water and limiting my cigarettes down to a lot less than I would like to smoke. We're still waiting for the go-ahead from my doctor to start our plan. I know what you are thinking! Yea Right, a truck driver is going to cure his mom with FS, Hypertension,Diabetes and other stuff, But all I can say to you is SIT BACK AND WATCH DEBBY