Pitty Party - Everyone welcome !

Hi guys - today was a typical day for me. I got out of bed at 3 pm, fought going back to bed until 7pm, and the bed won ! I laid there until 8:30 but the pain and tingling from head to toe kept me from going to sleep. I love to sleep!! I HATE IT !! I mean, I hate loving to sleep so much! But it is usually a wonderful escape. I just wish I could turn my brain off as often as my stupid body shuts down, then I think I would sleep around the clock so I wouldn't have to deal with the life that I have been dealt. I lay in bed thinking - I wish my house was clean - I wish I could clean it - I wish somebody would clean it - I shouldn't be feeling so damned sorry for myself - I have so much to be thankful for - I wish my dishes were done - I plan out how I want to arrange my new apartment (it's just two rooms) - I convince myself that I'm going to get out of bed and do SOMETHING, so I get up, pee, fix myself a glass of tea, then watch TV until it's late enough to go to bed without feeling guilty that's it's too early to go to bed. Swearing to myself that when I get up tomorrow MORNING (haha) I'm going to get alot done. Until tomorrow DEBBY

Yes I'm still smoking